I draw to see myself. I look at my personality and see the different ways that others see me through my art. Especially my faces that I draw. They are automatic paintings. I used to draw and paint beings from other worlds. Now they are becoming more human like. The mental illness still shows through on the work. Often that is what the viewer finds disturbing about them. The automatic drawings that I do are very different from the ones I would do at a life drawing session. It is more about letting my hand move freely creating the image. Many of the faces are different. I do see myself in them. It is a measure of how much I have healed.
I ran into the field. I could sense the gate. I ran threw it and everything turned black. I was running in nothingness. I continued to move my legs as I didn’t know what else to do. After about two minutes I saw tree branches wizing by my head. More and more. Then the ground appeared. I was back in the woods. I had exited the wormhole. It was quite the experience.
Hold the one point. Intent is everthing. Be diligent inyour thinking. Manifest with thougjt and feeling. Be it. Then let it go and keep actualizing.
I am working on Carlos Castanada's first gate of dreaming. Being able to transition from the awake dream in to the asleep dream consciously. I can see my hands no problem. I can look at objects fairly easy. I can even kill any dream imposter that enters my dreams and try to screw with me. However I still go unconciouse when I first fall asleep. I wake up in the dream but canot seem to make that transition. I have tried holding my toung to the roof of my head as I sleep but find this too intense energetically. I can not fall asleep while doing it. So on I go. I have epic two hour dreams on a regular basis now but cannot make the transition at the beginning. I also feel in the dreams now. So when I take a hit I feel it and at times it impact my physical body as well. I think all this is awesome. There is much work I can do for this planet in the dreamtime and in my meditations.
I was told tonight to stop child substance shielding the shit out of everything. What does that mean. It means stop being so emotional and childish about how I am dealing with my world. I was wanting my buttons to come up so I could eradicate them. I was a mess. went manic for two weeks. One giant rev. Get some spirit shields in front so I can be more in the now. I can be unattached and erase my personal history at the same time. If you want to know more about the shields read Song Of The Deer.
The personal blog of artist Shaun Gamache, where he will talk about his work, poetry, upcoming shows, and much more.