Out of the spaces of the mind that get filled with the holograms, trying to escape the mundane chatter, or absolute chaos of useless thoughts. Then there is a quiet. A calm. Yet I still feel my heart, a tearing apart of the feeling of vulnerability. I just need to feel. Or go into the Bath, the water taking on all karmic baggage. I let it go. I continue to take on and process from the collective. Working on the morphogenic field. I still have hope, it becomes a presence. Through all the suffering, all the joy, all the bliss, there is a hope. In that hope I allow myself to dream. Yet the dream must be met with exercise. Physical activity with the mental activity creates balance.
As I get in touch with my emotional self and my inner child a rage mask comes on from my adult. To have feelings without taking it personally. To step into the observer and be the in the world but not of it. It requires a split attention. I am here and there at the same time. I have a spiritual viewing point while having a human experience.
I push into things without knowing the truth about them. What is the light and what is the dark in this world. The dark makes itself out to be the light till we find out later. To step into no pity it would be really easy to become uncaring and have no empathy for people. There are dark tracks that one can go down on every path. We are not told which paths are good and which ones are traps. I think that is part of the learning down here to figure out by intuition or clairvoyance which ones are which. There are some people on paths that I have seen on both the light side and the dark side. I go nagual and the rules of engagement change. Can I judge a path by how I see them in the nagual. Is that there true identity, or a holographic illusion of a different world. In the nagual I am never told anything straight out. I get bits and pieces but no straight answers. I think there are traps when controlling the dream. Getting pulled into a dream world that is a nightmare. When I control the dream there is letting it drop in. Then there is intending it. Everyone has an energy signature that is like their name. It is aligned with the light side or the dark side. I remember asking Swift what to do when I resolve the paradox of good and evil. He told me to pick one and go for broke with it. I have chosen the light. However it is never straightforward to choose the light. The dark is constantly presenting itself as the light. Here in this place of illusion I think it is more of being able to know thyself than what is presented by the outer world. So much of the time the outer world is a lie. Then again in controlling the dream what is a lie other than what got dreamed in.
I yearn to get my spirit shields in front
Go into the heat, the expansiveness
To open up to the dream
To know myself in formlessness
The black abyss
Revealing a different way to see
Can I pray from cause
Can I be true to myself
I am that I am
As I pray for the collective
I am praying for myself
Separation is an illusion
The stars float in the sky, like white static energy that surrounds me.
I get hit with energy, controlling the dream is to control my own inner workings
I shatter inside as I see the fragments of light around me
Vulnerable, I hold my space,
I can quiet my mind, so that there is one focus
It is my feelings that become chaos
I am good at university, it is grade one that is hard for me to do
Yet I manifested my sunglasses, I am so proud
When I hit bottom I hunt for Hope. If I can find the hope I can transmute the bottom
My thymus feels the pain of the collective. I can almost relate to Christ at Gethsemane
Being an empath much of what I feel is not me. Yet I must treat it as all me to heal it
Is the bottom just a cycle, or do I feel it for the sake of having no pity when I am there
The Rose blooms, revealing myself to myself
To be illumined, suddenly aware
I came to power, went back to the beginning, and now I am trying to get to the end again.
I am here to double, to be an artist, and to be human but also to evolve the paradox of the Human Condition.
I look into the world, I see a shadow of who I once was. It is different now. I pinpoint of light in the sky that gets bigger and bigger. I constantly struggle to see it. Drifting, Drifting, riding the waves of my mind and the cosmos. I am moving forward, although it feels so delicate. Small moves. To learn to control the dream. I need to feel again. To feel my space. If I can feel it I can transmute it. To live like a legend. What does that look like. To live like royalty. Connect to my roots. The Kings Of The Franks and the Kings Of Troy. What is the legacy that gets passed down. I need to live up to who I am. I am an artist. I am a mystic. I am a sorcerer. What does that make me in this world.
To see into myself
The personal blog of artist Shaun Gamache, where he will talk about his work, poetry, upcoming shows, and much more.