Many want to go to ascention. To become light and ascend to a higher dimemsion. We have come here to experience the physical. Many tried to tell me that the goal was to no longer be physical. To m now is simply a spiritual perception. To resurect is to gain mastery over the physical world. To graduate from this world we must master this. In my church, the mormon church, to be physical and to have a physical body is the whole point. In fact we want to by physical for eternity in the church. Is it a choice point of wether we ascend, weather we resurect, or continue the reincarnation cycle I have been told many different storie about what we want to achieve. I now have chosen the plan of salvation. So I set my goalss there. What are we here on earth for if it is not to master having a spirital focus with physical mastery. Eventually in the eternities to becomu like Gods. To be like Christ. Some of the masters have resurrected, some ascended. I have even herd that Mother Mary also ascended to heaven. Those is Salem asended to heven. Is it that we have to choose, and where are the deceptions and how is this process twisted from the true teachings of a divine plan.
We need to have our line firmly anchored in the Rock, which is the spirit, which is our heavenly father and the trinity. I pray for our young people, the young adults that we can overcome the need to blow ourselves up. To shoot each other. Can we grow up as a planet, as a human race. Our trials can be amazing, they don't have to be a living hell.
I sit here and wonder, what am I doing here. What is my purpose now. Everything has changed so much. I feel as if I have been plucked out of the sky and dropped into humanity. How much of what happens here is our free choice. How much of it do we get to choose. How much of it is part of the plan and what we must work inside.
I was taught that there were those of us that had a book written to live out in this life, being given lessons over and over again until we learned them. Once we learned all the lessons, it was a blank book and we got to do what we wanted. I was told I got back to that blank book. Quite the feat.
Then I got baptized and forgiven of all my sins. Did I put myself into another book with another plan, only to start all over again. Now living Gods Plan. The Quoran says "it is written" all the time. How much of what I live now is written. Or was it allways that way and I was just under the illusion it was any different. I feel there are moments of our lives where we get to choose what happens to us on a larger scale. However, once the choice is made, we have to live with the consequences of that choice. Now I live as an Elder, Consecrating everything I have including my life to the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints. I would have been more comfortable if it were to God. People in the Church think that to the Church means to God. I wonder if I have chosen what will happen to me in the after life. As I keep my covonants, God promises cirtain things to me. Mainly the only thing of those promises I care about is being a disciple of Christ. That is what I did all this for. It was just that so much more came with it.
To spread the word seems to be what everyone cares about. At least that is mostly what I hear about. Everyone talks about the "whole truth", although I don't see a whole lot of self groath and development being taught. There is a basic plan and understanding of the way things work and that gets repeated over and over again. I have come to learn that my evolutoin is threw prayer and being taught by the spirit rather than what I get from Church. What is interesting is that I can find an answer for just about any question in the Gospel. Just open it up, go to what ever paragraph my eye is drawn to and there it is. I have a hard time learning the text and memorizing it as my memory isn't the greatest, however, being in the moment with it, I am good at. I find to grow in the church is a personal journey. I have even been asked not to share my spiritual experiences. Mostly as they would not be understood I think. People of the church are put into a safe container. That container is maintained by turning a blind eye to evil. See no Evil, Hear no Evil. I have herd this before, "focus on what you want, not on what you don't want" Abraham Hicks. As I focus on God's plan of salvation that is what I am creating in my life and the lives of those that come into my circle of experience. That is the great work being done here. The essence of being a missionary. I have said here that we are here till everyone that is alive or has lived is given a chance to here about the Gospel and decide if they will take to the waters and fires of baptism. Given the choice of eternal life. Then I was told it may take beyond my life here on the Earth to get it done. What have I agreed to? It is the Work. No different I suppose than the Bodhisattva Vow of reincarnating till everything on the planet is enlightened.
So what does it mean to be a Disciple of Christ here at this time. For me now I think it is about learning what the rules are. That is in the Gospel. I say unto you, Do what is Right and Let the Consequences Follow :)
When we choose the gospel as our way, we choose to live by it's doctrine. Now everyone's understanding of this doctrine differes and I would say few people on this earth would understand it as Christ did. We can love people of any sexual preference, but that does not change the law of Chastity. We can love all of humanity, but under my covenants, all of humanity is to be shown the gospel and choose whether to follow Gods plan or not. Does not mean we don't love them. We are even taught to not even anger at our enemies. To love our enemies. As I have the way I have chosen, the way of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints nothing else really matters. All the Devil will try to do is try to get me to leave this path and go on another one. That is the test. Thus, worship no other Gods or gods before me.
As the angels come
I know I am not alone
They wrap me in there love
Can I know there is a home
I keep wanting to go into the past, I must stay in the present. As I walk it seems I walk more alone in some ways, other ways I am gaining allies. Or at least I think I am. I don't know everyone's agenda. In this place people seem to only want to help when they get something in return. I have always given freely. I am having a hard time trusting my world. It is a world that changes. Drifting up and down the waves, my mind creating the tempest. I want comfort. I want nurturing. Something that I only get from the spirit. Human touch is absent from my life. I don't know if I know what love is, but I search for it. I look for it in my art. A stranger in my world.
I feel small. I have been fighting. Fighting things that cannot be known while in mortal form. I pray for hope. I have been told enduring to the end is the hard part. My heart feels wounded. I pray for a companion I can share this life with. Raise a family with. I have been alone for a long time. The irony is that outside of time there is no beginning and no end.
I looked at my life in service tonight and saw that I had been rejected many times and that that was how I knew service. As I revisit it I have been accepted to show my work in various places, and almost every place has said yes. My spiritual gifts has been of service to the world but not seen by men. How many of us do work that is never seen. Then when we try to offer these things to people they don't want it or don't understand it. I can not allow myself to go to all the negative places and make that my world. Take one example and make it everything. There are many places in my life where I have been blessed. It takes me back to the law of gratitude I think. Being grateful in the moment for what is being presented and what is being learned. I recently went through three days of rage after making a decision. I got through it by observing it. Now I have come out the other side. I am grateful that I am on God's side of the line. The "Pearl Of Grate Price" indeed, yet when we give all that we are, we get "all that the Father Hath". “And he that receiveth my Father receiveth my Father’s kingdom; therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.” (D&C 84:33–38.)
The personal blog of artist Shaun Gamache, where he will talk about his work, poetry, upcoming shows, and much more.